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That Funky Monkey

Wow another damn monkey just chillin’ in Walmart like that’s the cool thing to do these days. Since nobody listens to me I’ve decided to allow one exception to my “no monkeys in Walmart” rule. – If you have a monkey, you better also have a boombox (80′s style only) blasting Beastie Boys’ Brass Monkey. If not, [...]

Wipe Me Down

No use actually buying toilet paper when you’re just gonna let it air dry. Either have poor hygiene or poor fiscal responsibility, not both. Idaho

Dance For Your Dollar

Damn right it’s Friday, Rebecca Black. Let’s end this work week just like we started it, drunk. I mean, grossed out. Anyway, it’s Friday, she is wearing black and the way I’m tossing them back I’m about to black out, so I’ll call this Black Friday and that means we gotta give some shit away. [...]

She Bangs, She Bangs

Oh sweet mother of mercy. I don’t even know what to call that!!! Seriously, bangs and a female rat mullet? I couldn’t be that creative or mean if I was shaving someone’s head after they passed out with their shoes on! Idaho