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WWIB: Pearly Whites

Do people not know white is see-through? Is it some well kept secret that I didn’t know I was privy to and everyone else is in the dark? I’ve done a piss poor job of keeping that secret, seeing as how I’ve repeatedly advised against white pants. Hell, I don’t even wear white underwear, doesn’t [...]

Karma Chameleon

What’s that? Oh you little bitches got “Thug Life” tattooed on your chest? That’s cute… Iowa

The Beer Olympics

Pffft, who needs the Olympics in London? Here in Murrica our summer games are the Beer Olympics and this guy is the Michael Phelps of rockin’ out! Iowa

Scrunch It Up

Ponytails are for lazy people, unicorn horns are for crazy people. I’m not sure which is worse, I’m just excited they rhyme! Iowa

The Middle

What I need to know is while you were in the store, what the hell happened to the middle part of your jeans? I mean, it has to be a crazy story because I refuse to believe anyone in the entire world would do that shit on purpose. Iowa