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It’s Mother Flippin’ Friday!

Hey mother f*ckers, it’s f*cking Friday. After that I’m not really sure what to say. Never had the urge to curse on my shirts. I use internet message boards to show everyone I’m a tough guy. Arizona & Ohio

WWIB: Saving Some For Later

Are we allowed to do a “Who Wears It Better?” with toilet paper? Judges?…The judges say yes. They have determined that in Walmart this is considered an accessory to the outfit. Also, in the spirit of full disclosure I would like to point out that the judges I asked were in fact just myself. There [...]

Hella Jelly

Forget about hanging out in a barber shop with black guys, I’d give a week’s pay just to sit at your hair salon and hear you ask for “the jellyfish”! New York & Ohio

Diving Into The Gene Pool

Oh sorry, this is a picture of the weirdest vacation I was ever on. My goodness, not sure how that got in here. Ohio

Diving Into The Gene Pool

Oh sorry, this is a picture of the weirdest vacation I was ever on. My goodness, not sure how that got in here. Ohio

Diving Into The Gene Pool

Oh sorry, this is a picture of the weirdest vacation I was ever on. My goodness, not sure how that got in here. Ohio

Daddy’s Weekend

No shit Sherlock. Did you think I was under the impression that those sad single mothers I throw dollar bills at somehow get pregnant via immaculate conception? Come on man, I’m not stupid, I can see the c-section scars. Ohio

The Pickup Artist

Alright people, we haven’t given anything away for a while so let’s change that. Funniest pickup line wins either a copy of our new book or calendar, your choice. GOOOOOOOO! Ohio & Washington

The Furry Red Monster

Tickle Me Elmo? More like “enjoy your hand herpes for tickling me Elmo”. Sure, not quite the same ring to it, but I think it will stick. Ohio & Virginia

WWIB: Flappin’ In The Wind

Breaker breaker 1-9 we’ve got two bogies on my 6 looking like a couple of idiots. – Ahh that’s a big 10-4 good buddy, saw ‘em earlier, completely moronic. Now let’s go get us some lot lizards. (Wow, I’m amazed at how accurate my interpretation of trucker conversations is!) Ohio & Oregon