Home » Archive by category "Random"

How A Real Man Gets Tan

Seems like an odd place to take a nap. I hope that this is his car or someone is going to come out to quite the surprise. Texas

That Funky Monkey

Wow another damn monkey just chillin’ in Walmart like that’s the cool thing to do these days. Since nobody listens to me I’ve decided to allow one exception to my “no monkeys in Walmart” rule. – If you have a monkey, you better also have a boombox (80′s style only) blasting Beastie Boys’ Brass Monkey. If not, [...]

Wrist Deep In Your Anus

Maybe if you dig down deep enough you can find some of your dignity. Probably not, but I’m sure you’ll keep trying anyway. Enjoy having your elbow smell like dookie for the rest of the day. Michigan

Bathrooms Are Overrated

When do you hit that point of “F it, I’m just gonna piss myself”? C’mon buddy, you should have known it wouldn’t be hard to follow the yellow piss road back to you. Pennsylvania

Head In The Game

Ah snap, you guys are just sooooo important bro. Gotta have my earpiece on 24/7 just in case. “Buy! Sell!” my ass. You two are probably talking your avatars through level 716 of some nerd ass game. California & Florida

Grilled Cheese To The Extreme

If I didn’t know any better I’d say someone is getting geared up to grease up a pig and try to catch it naked…or try to block up their bowels for 6 months, I don’t know. I never bought that much butter or cheese. Massachusetts

ToeJam & Earl

Hey where is Earl?…huh? ToeJam & Earl. The video game…ahh screw all of you! North Carolina